Thursday, October 17, 2013

A spider's web for Halloween and a chance to talk about community in between!

Does everybody know how to create a web with your group? I feel like we all must by now!  But it's Halloween season so how about a quick review of a great way to create connections within your group (any size works!), have a good discussion, and end up with a nice web to hang up in your youth room. Add a spider and you're done!

Put your youth in a circle, and give one the end of a ball of yarn.  This youth tosses the ball, while still holding the end of the string, to another youth.  Have him or her ask that youth a question, if the group knows each other well, or keep it simple by asking "would you rather" type questions.  Pretty much anything works! 

After the youth holding the ball of yarn responds, s/he tosses the ball to another youth, while still holding onto a piece of the string, and the questions and yarn tossing continue until a nice web is formed.

Before you have your youth pass the yarn from one person to the person beside him or her to tie it all off so it can be hung, let them pull and play around with it for a while.  Our yarn is all old so it breaks usually, but often not before you can watch how one person's tug affects the entire web.

Questions for discussion:
-When we were playing and pulling with our web, what did you notice about how it moved and who was able to move it? How does this remind you of things in your own life?  In the larger community?
-How did the web break? Are there analogies in your personal experience where your web broke? What was that like?
-How did you fix the web? What lessons might you take from this, to help you fix the places that are broken in your own circles of friendship? In the world?
-What do you appreciate about the people here today, and the ways that you are connected to them?

Saturday, September 29, 2012

Photo Scavenger Hunt

We often begin our year with fun activities that allow youth to get to know each other in smaller groups and in less structured ways, and scavenger hunts are a favorite activity, while the group is young and the weather still nice.  This year we decided to do a photo scavenger hunt, but with a twist to allow for a little more creativity on the part of our kids. Teams of 10 youth each had an hour to create and shoot photos that fit the following captions, and to make it more potentially entertaining teams each got a bucket of sidewalk chalk they could use to draw scenes which they placed themselves in.  The photos were later posted in our private facebook group (tagging individuals helps everyone learn names!) and they are fabulous. It was hard to pick a winning team! We concluded our meeting with one large group photo, and I want to give a special shout out to the nice biker by who stopped to take the shot for us.

Here were our list of "captions" for this year's photo scavenger hunt, but you could easily create your own list:

floating
mysterious
serving
tourist
camoflauge
awkward
impossible
looooove!!!
seriously?
little people
there's a story here
that'sthatpicture
slice of life
amazing abstract
your best shot

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

A Cross Cultural Simulation

Cross cultural simulations are great for, well, just what they say they're for - simulating cross cultural experiences.  But whether or not your own group contains any array of cultures, these simulations are also great for launching discussions about how accurate our perceptions about people are and how we can best be and work together.  For that reason, we love to use them early on in the year, when folks are starting to form impressions of others but are beginning to do things as a group.

Here is one to try with your own group, during any regular meeting or activity (cooking a meal, playing a game, doing a scavenger hunt, etc.):

Copy and evenly distribute one of the four following instructions below to every person in your group before you begin your meeting.  Instruct them to read them silently, intentionally act as their instructions indicate during your meeting, and not share with anyone else what their instructions are. Conduct your meeting, allowing at least 30 minutes or more to debrief.

INSTRUCTIONS

1)
You come from a cultural group that believes men and women ought to remain separate in social settings. You may greet the opposite sex with a quick “Hi”, but you would never shake hands or touch. Such demonstrations often carry sexual connotations. You do approve of touch among same sex groups, since it does not hold the same implications. You prefer to be seated in same sex groups during meetings. Women usually sit on one side and men on the other.
2)
You come from a cultural group that is lively and warm in relationships. It is common to greet people with light cheek-to-cheek greetings, hugs and touching while talking. With those you do not know as well, you would at least extend a warm, long handshake. Friendships are important, and you ask lots of questions about the well-being of a person. Gender-mixed relationships are common and touch is a sign of acceptance, nothing more.
3)
You come from a fairly reserved cultural group which enjoys order and simplicity in life. You greet people quietly, politely and swiftly. You are more interested in personal reflection and inner awareness during any group activity. During the group activity it is important for you to demonstrate a learning attitude by listening attentively, seriously and quietly. It is more important for you to be aware of yourself than it is for the group to “succeed” at its task. Tasks come and go, but personal insight is everything
4)

You come from a competitive, task-oriented cultural group. You enjoy competition and you want to do a good job on the group task. To get things done, your group needs a plan, a leader and some enthusiastic participants. Too much small talk can be a waste of time. You like to get down to business. 

DEBRIEF

What happened?
How did you feel?
What did you think about others and why?
What if you knew why others were behaving as they were?
What specific real life situations does this remind you of?
What did you do during this simulation that worked for you?  
What could others have done differently to make our meeting go more smoothly?
What could you have done differently to make our meeting go more smoothly?
Would you have had to break any of your rules in order for our meeting to go more smoothly?





Saturday, September 08, 2012

Questions for Getting To Know One Another

Here's a simple meeting for the beginning of the year, and it's been tested and approved by our youth!

We divvied our group up into 6 smaller groups then handed out the following set of questions.  After 15 minutes, we asked the youth to re-divide into new groups so everyone had the chance to be in a group with everyone else (and that, in fact, was the hardest part of leading this particular meeting!) and asked them to tackle the next set of questions, going around the circle and responding to each. At the end of our 2 hour meeting, we checked in as a large group to see what interesting info folks had to share about others. Everyone had fun in a low-key kind of way! Here were the questions:

1

What was your favorite childhood television program?
Are you a collector of anything?
If you could be any animal, what would you be?
If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
What is usually your first thought when you wake up?

2

What's your favorite animal?
Do you believe in extraterrestrials or life on other planets?
You're given 1 million dollars, what do you spend it on?
Have any bad habits?
List 3 of your best personality traits

3

List 3 of your worst personality traits
Have any celebrity crushes?
List 1 thing you wish you could change about yourself
What's the first thing you notice in the opposite sex?
What personality traits do you look for in other people?

4

What personality traits do you dislike in other people?
Are you mostly a clean or messy person?
If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?
List 5 goals on your life's to-do list
Name 1 regret you have

5

Name 1 thing you love about being a teenager
What's your favorite song of the moment?
What's your favorite thing to do on a Saturday night?
Have any hidden talents?
What would be your dream job?

6

If you could have 3 wishes granted, what would they be?
Ever wish you were born the opposite sex? If so, why?
Name 1 thing not many people know about you
If you HAD to change your name, what would you change it to?
Do you believe in the afterlife?

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Fun with Fundraising

We do a lot of fundraising, and while it's always for a good cause, it can get monotonous (and not only for the people who are constantly being hit up for money!).

This year, we explored branding, advertising, and the effectiveness of persuasion strategies, and
incorporated all that into some of our fundraising efforts.

Here's a meeting plan that blends fundraising, social action, and some social psychology. You can raise money for a cause, and have an interesting discussion about it afterwards.

Before you send small teams of youth out to collect money (use cans or whatever you like) go over the persuasion strategies below and make sure everyone understands them. Once they do, give each small team a collection can, a time limit, and a piece of paper.

Instruct them that for every individual or group of individuals they approach, they should record on their paper the strategy employed and whether or not a donation was made.

When their time limit is up, gather all teams back to review how the activity went, and make sure to save time at the end to count the money and send off the donation!

Persuasion Strategies

"Foot-in-the-Door": the common two-step sequential persuasion technique. Begin by asking for a small request that is unlikely to be denied. Once the person complies, follow with a larger request. "Hi! Can you please contribute 10 cents to the Red Cross's disaster relief efforts in Japan? [The person will likely say yes.]. Actually, would you be able to give $1.00?"

"Door in the Face": another two-step process. Ask for an unrealistically large
donation, then, after the person refuses, follow with a much smaller request. "Hi! Can you please contribute $20 to the Red Cross's disaster relief efforts in Japan? [The person will likely say no.]
Well then, would you be able to give $1.00?"

"Reciprocity": people often feel indebted to strangers who give them even small
tokens (this is why charities often send "gifts" when they solicit your contributions). "Hi there! Here's a piece of candy for you to enjoy. And would you like to contribute to the Red Cross's disaster relief efforts in Japan?"

"Direct Order": a direct request for assistance. "Hi there! Please contribute to the Red Cross's disaster relief efforts in Japan."

"Wild Card": create your own strategy but make sure it is respectful of others.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Some people think we aren't any fun!

We do know how to have fun! Really we do! When we're not out trying save the world or learning how to save the world or praying that someone else saves the world, there are 2 games right now which we like!

1) Wink!
2) This one!

Circle up and ask for a volunteer from the group. Tell them that they must stand in the middle of the circle and imitate any action they wish (for our example, we'll use sweeping the floor). As the volunteer pretends to sweep the floor, she will say aloud that she is, in fact, performing another action (such as "I am driving a car!").

She then sits back down and the next person enters the middle of the circle. She will imitate the action the person before her said (driving a car), while instead saying aloud that she is performing some other action (so, while she pretends to drive a car, she might say "I am pulling my hair out!!!").

The next person to enter the circle will then pretend to pull out her hair, while stating that she is doing something else. And so on.

Easily a good hour of entertainment here before it gets raunchy. And while a good game might not save the world, it might save a boring meeting and make you laugh, which sometimes is just as good.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

The Best Meeting You Didn't Plan

Years ago (never now, of course) I didn't always have time to think about and plan elaborate and well-thought-out meetings. In my bag of tricks for those weeks was this current favorite, requested again and again by our group years later: If You Really Knew Me.

The concept is so simple even MTV made it into a half hour show, but it's complex enough that you can spend 2 hours on it if you want to debrief, which would be a good idea.

Gather your group of any size and count off so you have about 5 youth in a group. Have them sit in a tight circle in their 5-person group and explain the rules to them:

"Once we start, you'll take turns going one by one around your circle and say, 'If you really knew me, you'd know...." and then complete the sentence for yourself. You'll continue going around the circle until I say stop. You will not say anything other than 'If you really knew me, you'd know...'; you will not comment on what others say; you will not skip over people in the circle. We'll do this for 20 minutes. Any questions? Okay, go!"

What is powerful about this exercise for the youth in our group is that it allows them, who already are tight knit, to get even tighter and get into deeper sharing. But it works great for a group of youth that don't know each other, too. The level of sharing will just be different.

If you want to spend more time on it, try asking youth to re-group themselves up in ways that might change the nature of what they share (age, race, social group, boys/girls, etc,), and then talk about what changed depending on who they were grouped with.

Monday, March 14, 2011

2 Games to explore Rank and Privilege

As I've noted before, our group likes games, but doesn't love games that have no point. (Ehhh, with one exception -- *wink*).

We talk in depth about rank and privilege throughout the year as we work to build awareness and cohesion in our group, but also and especially as we're getting ready to do any type of social justice or service work.

Here are two excellent games that have allowed our youth to explore these issues in a fun way. Each takes some preparation, but the payoff is worth it.

The Bag Exercise "gives participants a quick experience of rank and privilege, especially economic class" but we've frequently used this to explore rank within our own group as well:
http://www.trainingforchange.org/bagexercise

Intergroup Monopoly "illustrates the structural dynamics and consequences of intergroup inequalities." This is also an excellent exercise for adults, or youth and adults:
http://www.socialpsychology.org/action/2011winner.htm

For an (ineloquent yet) decent and brief explanation of rank, power and privilege, you can check out the article here:
http://www.breakthrough.ie/articleissues/rankpowerprivilegevol2no12.htm

An exercise in ostracism: The O Train

We're all aware of the consequences of bullying these days, right?

But being left out or ignored is something our youth report as being much more prevalent in their daily lives than bullying.

We wanted to find out what the effects of ostracism were, and found an excellent role play called "The O Train" that you can easily set up and do with minimal materials and any size group. The entire role play took about 15 minutes, but the discussion afterwards would have lasted longer than the hour and a half we had before the parents showed up!

Find the synopsis of the role play here: http://www.socialpsychology.org/action/2006honor1.htm

Find the full article about the exercise here: http://www1.psych.purdue.edu/~willia55/Announce/TrainRide.pdf

Thursday, December 30, 2010

To Thine Own Self Be True


Our group has been on a “marketing” kick lately. Not only have we been talking about it in meetings (see the last couple of entries) but we've also used those meeting's discussions to inform some theories we have about how trends begin among youth and children. In fact, we're smack dab in the middle of conducting our own little experiment with starting a trend. But more on that later!


Last week we passed out paper and pen and asked our youth to use the following questions to interview the person sitting beside them, then report back to the large group with what they found out about their partner.


  1. Name a tv commercial or ad which made you want to buy (or do) what it was selling.

  2. Name a person who does something or has something (or doesn't do or have something) who made you want what s/he does or has.

  3. What sorts of people influence you most?


Across the board, our youth were heavily influenced by advertising, yet said that the people who influenced them the most were not celebrities but their peers who were the most authentic, confident, and believably unique. So, we followed up with these questions:


  1. You have an image: how you feel about yourself and an idea of what people think about you. Where does this come from? Why and how does it change?

  2. As people get older, they often say they don't care what people think about them as much anymore. Is that a good thing or a bad thing in your opinion?

  3. Why is it so hard to know yourself and then stay true to who you are?

We ended by re-telling the famous story of the disastrous 1984 Coca-Cola formula change, when millions were spent developing and marketing a new "sweeter" version of Coke’s classic recipe. Coke wanted to appeal to perceived changes in people’s tastes and convert its primary competitor, Pepsi's, following. But it failed miserably. New Coke may have upheld Coca-Cola’s promise of refreshment and enjoyment, but it didn’t connect with Coke’s longtime customers or help Coke steal share from Pepsi. Nor were they successful in attracting new customers. If anything, the change to its product detracted from the reputation that Coca-Cola spent so many years establishing. In fact, the only thing the company succeeded in doing was alienating its longtime customers. What was inside the can with the familiar logo wasn’t what loyalists had come to expect and trust.

In conclusion, we asked each youth to reflect in silence on how they could balance who they are with what people want them to be, and then to offer aloud to the group one piece of advice they had for others struggling with that tension.


Tuesday, November 30, 2010

How Secure Are YOUth?

While everyone else in this country seems to be discussing whether the personal risk of undergoing a full body airport scan is worth the national security it intends to bolster, we wanted to ask our youth what “security” means to them.

We began by going around the room 2 or 3 times brainstorming the first thing the youth thought of when they heard the word “security.” We allow passing, but encourage them just to say whatever comes to mind, even if it's stupid or has already been said, so everyone gets involved.

Youth came up with words like blanket, social, safety, shelter, freedom, passwords, national, teddy bear, puppy, government, acceptance, water, roof, insurance, job, locks, seatbelts, etc.

We did the same thing with the word “insecurity” which initially proved to be harder for them, but eventually they came up with an interesting list which included words like “gay” “female” “emotional” “body” “Arizona” “sick” and some choice others.

Then we asked every youth to write on different small pieces of paper 5 things which for them were necessary for their own security. When they had finished, we told them that a unforeseeable event resulted in the loss of one of them, and made them choose one to throw away. We continued to present them with various circumstances which forced them to get rid of another, then another, and finally another so they were left with only one, and asked them to share which they had chosen to hold on to, and why.

We concluded with a discussion of the following questions:

Would you define personal security the same way as the people you live with would? Why or why not?
Describe a time when you experienced complete safety or security. What was special about this experience? What made it so safe or secure?
Describe an experience in which you felt completely unsafe. What made it so unsafe? What happened?
What does a child need most to feel secure? What would be on your top ten list?
What kinds of situations or conditions create the most insecurity for young people today?

"During the cold war, peace and security tended to be defined simply in terms of military might or the balance of terror. Today, we have a greater appreciation for the non-military sources of conflict. We know that lasting peace requires a broader vision, encompassing education and literacy, health and nutrition, human rights and fundamental freedoms. We know that we cannot be secure amidst starvation. We cannot build peace without alleviating poverty. We cannot build freedom on foundations of injustice."
- Kofi Annan, General Secretary, United Nations

What do you think about this quote?

What are some tangible things you can you do to ensure that others do not lose or are able to have access to things that are of importance to their, and by extension our, security?

Personal Branding for YOU(th)


If you work with youth, you know how important social media is to them. Recently, Sean O'Brien (our amazing co-director of all things youth) and I were looking for a more interesting way to begin a discussion with our group about what they post online. The resulting meeting was so successful that I thought I'd share it.


We began with a “name that slogan” game, just for fun: paired the group up, gave each paper and pencil, and read them 15 famous slogans. They wrote their answers then traded papers to see which pair correctly named the most brands associated with each slogan. Here are a few; many more are easily googled:

I'm lovin' it – McDonalds
Think different – Apple
Just do it – Nike
Snap Crackle Pop – Kellogg's Rice Krispies
The ultimate driving machine – BMW
The other white meat – pork

We followed up the game with a brief discussion about what brands were popular now (Uggs were still very “in” while McDonalds was decidedly “out”). We had them think then talk about how much time and effort they spent “branding” themselves, how they did it, and what image they hoped to portray to others about who they were based on the brands they purchased or steered clear of.


Then we gave each youth a large piece of paper, markers, and the following handout:

The field of leadership studies has a term, 'Impression Management' which you may also hear referred to as 'personal branding.'


I
magine you could create a billboard to advertise YOU to the whole world. What image would be on it? What would it say? How do you want to be seen by the outside world?

Consider the following questions, then draw your billboard:

What stands out about you?

What makes you different from your peers?

What's your greatest strength?

What's your most noteworthy personal trait?

What are you proud of?

What should you take credit for?

What image do you want to portray to others about who you are on the inside?

When youth finished drawing their billboards, they shared as they were willing (most had worked diligently on their billboards and were eager to take part)! We then had them turn their papers over, and told them,

“Impression Management is essentially your reputation – and often, what others say about you is more important than what you convey about yourself. On the back of your papers, add the graffiti that others have spray painted over your billboards – the stuff that others say about who you are or who they perceive you to be. True or not, this is the stuff that isn't who you want to be known to the world as.”

After graffitiing their billboards, youth once again shared. The discussion began fairly seriously: how difficult it is as a youth (when you're changing so quickly) to change others' ingrained perceptions of you; how hard it is to change your reputation if it's bad, but how easy it is to maintain your reputation if it's good (even if you do bad things); how one person can make or break your reputation with one slanderous rumor; etc.


We ran out of time and had to cut that discussion short, but in conclusion we presented the group with the following questions to consider:

You may not get to create a billboard on the side of the highway, but in what other public places are you advertising to the world who you are?


Do you use facebook, twitter, and other social media to your advantage, or to your detriment?


Do your “friends” and “followers” support the image you want to portray of yourself or do they contribute more in the way of “graffiti”?

Sunday, November 01, 2009

Beginning Again


After a rather long (baby) hiatus, I'm back. Is anyone out there anymore? I guess we'll find out.

Anyway, here's an interesting project we did at the beginning of this year with a new group of youth who didn't know each other very well. It'd be fun for any group at any time of the year though.

FACEBOOK PHOTO ESSAY

Needed: one facebook page (create one for your group; it's easy and you'll seem cool to them if you do), one digital camera, and enough 8 1/2x11 white paper and black thick markers for everyone.

After a general intro and check in, I asked each youth to think of one thing they'd like others to know about them. It could be something that might affect how they were viewed in the group, or something they wanted to make sure others knew, or... really anything they wanted to add but hadn't felt comfortable sharing in their check in.

Each youth wrote their statement in LARGE letters on their white paper, and we took each one outside individually for a photo. They got to direct the photo shoot themselves, so they picked a place and pose that corresponded to what they had written.

After the meeting, all the photos were posted on our group facebook page (untagged so they remained private and viewable only to our group; the one posted here is with permission). Each youth was asked to post a "comment" during the next week on everyone else's photo and statement.

The result: a great photo essay about our youth that generated tons of wonderful and insightful comments; an activity that youth who had not been part of could still participate in; an activity that built trust among the youth; and a chance for youth to get to know each other in their own time and outside the church.

Monday, February 26, 2007

Youth, on Youth Group, Part III

What makes youth group special? We asked the ones who know
best: our youth!
Here is the third article in the series of 3:

EMPOWERMENT by Catherine

Our youth group, even though it’s as large as it is, has found that it can accomplish many things, run smoothly, have a great time, AND empower individuals – with two adult leaders (not advisors!) and without a steering committee, president, treasurer, and the likes.

A big part of what we all get from this group is the skills we need to be leaders, in our group, in our church, and in the world. Part of what our leaders – Jessica and Sean – do, is to give everyone the skills, support, and opportunities to be a leader, and anyone can be a leader in any activity where they’re comfortable. In WUSYG there are opportunities to lead meetings, worship, overnights, dinners, concerts, and basically anything we can think of, and if we don’t think of anything, our leaders encourage us to try our hand at leading something at one time or another, either individually, or in small groups. By having skilled leaders rather than youth or advisors running a lot of our meetings and activities throughout the year, we learn a lot just by watching them and participating in the things they plan. From that, we learn how to organize our own things with their support: we learn how to lead discussions, how to plan service trips, how to construct a worship service, and a bunch of other things that we just wouldn’t necessarily know how to do, or have the skills to do.

As part of our youth group we are given opportunities to achieve things we never would have thought we could. The largest example of this occurs on our Habitat trips. On these week-long trips, we are given the opportunity and skills to achieve something very tangible. Framing a wall for a house for the homeless family whose daughter is working beside you is amazing; for some of us, finally getting a nail in without bending it is the most empowering thing we’ve experienced in years!

There are a dozen more ways that the youth are empowered within and by our group and its activities, but it is important to mention that youth involvement in the church and congregation are also significant. Our congregation accepts us as part of the larger community; it is part of their commitment to our Youth Group. With this acceptance, the youth are given the opportunity to serve on committees and have a voice. We have youth on nearly every committee in our church; youth are teachers, and sextons, and a lot of other things as well. By allowing for this involvement, the church has given us opportunities to become active and accept more responsibilities, and we learn how to be responsible with our power, and how to work with others.

The kinds of things we’re empowered to do in our youth group and in our church is not something we get at school, or through sports teams, or really anywhere else in our lives. In our church we are given the chance to learn about people different from us, the chance to make a difference, the chance to learn about ourselves, to learn from others who are older and wiser or more experienced, the chance to use our power wisely, and the chance to become someone who will build off all these experiences we’re given, and use them not just in our youth group, but in our community and the larger world.



Thursday, February 22, 2007

Youth, on Youth Group, part II

What makes youth group special? We asked the ones who know best: our youth!
Here is the second article,  in a series of three:
CONTENT by Sam
WUSYG (the Winchester Unitarian Society Youth Group), like many other youth groups probably, creates a covenant at the beginning of the year. Contained in our covenant is our understanding that a group cannot function without dedication. We believe that trained and experienced leaders who model and build that dedication among us are absolutely crucial to creating a strong and committed youth following.
WUSYG has both a ¾ time youth director and a 1/4 time assistant youth director who are a part of the church’s payroll. For us, a youth group without experienced leaders is like a choir without a music director, or a congregation without a minister, and just like hiring a music director or searching for a minister, hiring the right leaders for a youth group is an extensive process that must be completed carefully and with input from the youth; youth group leaders need to understand the workings of a group and group development and dynamics, and must also be passionate about working with youth and knowledgeable about ministry to teens.
WUSYG’s leaders – Jessica and Sean – are not there to reprimand or control the group, but rather to guide and aid the group’s growth and provide knowledge, skills, and focus for the youth. We think that often, group leaders spend too much time focusing on just providing fun stuff to draw youth in, and not focusing on the culture or the dynamics of the group. Or, at the opposite side of the spectrum, they run youth group like an extension of RE classes and just try to teach us stuff that we may or may not be interested in. Other youth groups may just be left to fend for themselves, and develop their own programming and lead their own meetings and worship and activities with some help from adults. Because we have experienced leaders who share a full time job, we have a large program that offers us a little of all of that: social events, small groups, worship, education, service trips, community-building activities, and leadership opportunities. And, in turn, we have a very large and diverse group of youth. Whatever it is they’re looking for in a youth group, they can probably find it at WUSYG because we offer a little of everything.
As a youth director, Jessica spends a lot of time working on ways to develop leadership opportunities for youth. She does not rely on the same people to head each project, but rather encourages many people to lead activities, worship, fundraisers, etc. When a youth member leads a project for the group, he or she develops a strong dedication and loyalty to the group that can only grow, and gains skills that he or she will later pass along to new members. At the same time, Jessica doesn’t let us lead everything, and we don’t spend the majority of our time working on projects or planning things.
For example, weekly Sunday meetings for WUSYG are almost always leader-led and focused on a certain thought or theme which forces us to analyze current events and think about relevant issues. Our leaders create an environment where youth are free to express opinions and respectfully debate ideas with one another.
So, we don’t plan or lead our Sunday meetings… so what do we do, and how and when do we do it? Youth in the group organize and plan quite a bit on our own, and the largest influence on our organization for WUSYG is an e-mail list. This has been key for organizing events and letting everyone know what’s going on and what we need help with.
Of course, we can’t accomplish everything we need to do on computers. When we need to meet and organize, we’ll often use Wednesdays for that. If it’s a smaller group that needs to meet, they’ll all communicate and figure out when is best for all of them.
For us, leadership comes in as many different forms as we have different kinds of people in our group. While some people organize large-scale fundraising concerts, others participate in discussions and provide thought-provoking ideas. Some group members lead silently through their complete dedication to the group, and attend almost every single group event. Others lead by taking charge when no one else will. Our adult leaders do lead, and not just advise, but our youth all lead and advise as well, and it’s the balance that makes it possible for our group to do as much as we do, and what makes our group work so well.


Friday, February 16, 2007

Youth, on Youth Group

Straight from the horse's mouth! We asked our youth to write about what makes their youth group 
special.
Here's the first, in a series of 3 articles I'll post here over the next few days.

OUR CULTURE, by Anna

We know that in all UU youth groups and district events there are certain things that are expected of the youth who attend: things like don’t use drugs, don’t have sex or exclusive relationships, no drinking, and so on. We also know that even when these things are aspired to, or even if youth sign on the line and agree to them, it doesn’t always mean that there won’t be drinking, or sex, or whatever, happening.

Our group is a little different: we aspire to and agree to not using substances or having exclusive relationships in our group, and we don’t. Honestly, we do not have ANY problems with drugs, alcohol, sex, exclusive relationships, or other substance abuse at our events, meetings, retreats, or service trips.

And it’s not because we’re a bunch of goody-goodies either—in fact, the town we come from has a very disturbing reputation for being a very heavy drinking/drugging town; and obviously, we’re not immune to that. The truth is that most of us don’t make it through our high school years without some experimenting—with some doing a lot more “experimenting’ than others. And it’s not like kids in our group don’t have intense relationships or go out with others in the group—in fact, some of our youth have been dating for several years -- but you would NEVER know it when you’re at a youth group meeting or event.

Our youth group is sacred space—we’ve worked hard to make it a place that’s free from the stuff that’s around us all the rest of the time, and we talk about the reasons we want our group and our activities to be free from those things that are so pervasive in the rest of our lives. We agree not to have exclusive relationships, use drugs, alcohol, etc—and we don’t.

It’s not always easy and it takes work, and let’s face it: drugs, alcohol, sex, and other substance abuse are a huge part of teen life whether people like it or not. But although this may be part of some of our youth’s lives, it is never part of their life at the youth group. It doesn’t even need to be said. It all goes back to respect. By bringing substances into the group, you not only run the risk of being caught and reprimanded by the leaders, but even worse, you run the risk of disappointing the group. The way we see it, by bringing substances into our group, its almost as if you’re saying, “you people aren’t enough to have fun—I need more!” or “I don’t feel comfortable with you or myself, so instead of working on that, I’m going to take the easy way out.”

And by the way: we have never been asked to sign anything stating that we will behave a certain way in our group or at our events or retreats or trips. The first time I was ever asked to sign anything like that for a youth group event was this past April, when I went on a UUSC work trip to the Mohawk Farm in New York. We were all required to sign this contract. It’s your typical contract, sign on the dotted line. Honestly, I didn’t even read it—I just signed it. I’m sure I know what it said: no sex, no drugs, blah blah blah. It’s not that it’s not important—it’s just that we all know already that adults expect of us. What’s more important really is what we expect of each other and why, and signing on a dotted line doesn’t give anyone any opportunity to talk about their own personal beliefs, or the reasons why the rules and guidelines for the trip are there, or anything that is really important, like respect for each other, our leaders, not wasting the opportunity that is being given to us, or violating the trust we have in each other. When you talk about those things, and hear how others feel about them, it becomes really obvious that that kind of stuff is so much more important and rare and valuable than a few beers would be.

When our youth group goes on a service trip, for example, we aren’t asked to sign on a dotted line. Instead, we are asked to write our own covenant, which includes what we feel should be the guidelines for the trip, why, and what really matters. In general, these covenants are a way for each member to say whatever is on his or her mind, to talk about what s/he wants from the trip, ad how s/he thinks that can happen. Everyone is required to write one because, although most of us want similar things, we are all really different, and we have different needs and ideas as well. We read them aloud, but anonymously, every night throughout the trip, and it really makes us feel proud to be doing something (or not doing something) that no one expects of us anywhere else in our life. It’s a big deal, and it’s something we’ve chosen to do on our own, and it’s something that a lot of people really respect us for. Sex, drugs, and alcohol is a whole lot easier to come by than the kind of pride and respect we get from this…And it’s interesting, because it’s not just adults that respect us for this; kids in our school really want to be part of something like this too, and that’s one reason why our group has grown so much I think.


Saturday, February 10, 2007

Online Discussion Guides

If you haven't read YES! magazine, you should start! We love it.  
Added bonus: their discussion guides are absolutely perfect for 
senior high youth groups. Take a look at them here. You're
guaranteed to find a whole slew of great themes, engaging articles,
and ready-made questions for your group.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Discussion with Large Groups

We have the happy problem of having too many kids. It makes 
discussions virtually impossible, but other than Wink and Capture 
the Flag, it's what the majority of youth in our group want on a 
Sunday evening.
Here's one technique that would work well with any number of kids though, and it's a nice change from the circle or fishbowl. Have each youth write down a controversial situation. This could be 
anything from the Iraq war, to having a friend who makes racist or 
homophobic comments, to being in a situation where alcohol or drugs 
are being used.
Put a long piece of masking down across the floor of your room, and label one end AGREE/APPROVE and the other DISAGREE/DISAPPROVE.  
Have youth exchange papers with one another, and ask for 2 volunteers.
Have the first volunteer read what is on his paper. Ask the second
volunteer to take a stand on the tape line which represents how she feels about the situation. She should explain why she chose the position on the line which she did.
At that point, the rest of the group is invited to give arguments (pro/con) or make comments about the situation in an attempt to change the mind of the person standing on the tape line, who will move and respond to comments from the individuals in the group if she feels so inclined.
Continue until it's boring, then choose two more volunteers.
This isn't only an interesting way to create a vibrant discussion, it's also a good chance for youth to see peer pressure at work, to find out what "moves them", to see the influence they have on others, and so on.
 

Monday, January 22, 2007

Another great site for resources

Here it is, more different ideas that are easy to lead.  Search for ideas by exercise or outcome.  Everything I've used from here has been great!

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Searchable database of activities, exercises, and games

Searchable by keyword, type of tool (icebreaker, simulation exercise, etc.), or topic, this website has a bunch of great and different activities for your meetings! Enjoy.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Everything Old is New Again

Some of the exercises I love the most only work one time with any
one group.  Once you do them, the secret is out, and you can't use
them again for, oh, four years or so, until the new generation comes through the doors and all your old stuff is new again.
Over the years, I've discovered many ways to reuse and recycle
great games and meetings, making them more challenging and
different and thus useful at least every two years, if not every year. One favorite of mine and our group is the Broken Squares Exercise.

Play it once with your group - it's a great one - but if you want to
play it again, try this small change: eliminate one person per group, and eliminate one square.  The trick? tell the group they still have to create 5 squares.  The answer: they will need to build 4 individual squares which together create one larger, 5th square.

For the youth who think they know this game, it becomes extra tricky as they are forced to think outside the box (square!). Some will insist you did it wrong; others will figure it out eventually.  Change your follow-up questions to suit your particular group situation, or have them create their own questions based on their 
experiences.

Monday, December 18, 2006

"Peace on Earth, Goodwill towards all"

We had a great meeting last night which I thought I'd share for anyone who wanted to borrow it.
We started with a game we call Plates, but I've seen it called "Islands" in other books.  Have your group stand in a circle around some paper plates scattered in the middle. Explain the game: "when I say go, you must run and touch a plate. Anyone who touches anyone else at any point is out.  The last person to touch a plate in each round (or anyone not touching a plate) is out.  Go!" At the end of each round, take plates out.  Last night, I had youth who lay on plates, snatched plates and ran, etc.  The game was over in minutes. Other years I've had youth who've also immediately ripped the paper plates into small bits and distributed them around the circle so that no one was ever out.  See what your group does!
We followed up with these questions for discussion, and would have concluded with candles for the last question had we not run out of time:

Is there a way to play the game so that no one is ever “out”? Is there any reason NOT to play the game that way?

You have all heard this famous quote of the Christmas season, "on earth peace, goodwill toward men."
Most of us want world peace, but where do you start? Is it possible to have world peace without goodwill – fostering cooperation and trust – right here among your peers? Is it possible to have a good relationship with others if you don’t have inner peace yourself?

Questions:

1) When in your life do you experience cooperation or a sense of community? Where do you experience competition or conflict?

2) Conditions that create conflict are:

- instability
- inequity
- powerlessness
- fear
- uncertainty
- unclear boundaries
- conflicting beliefs

Going around the circle, have each person name and describe some of the biggest conflicts you’re experiencing in your life right now. Can the root of each person’s conflicts be traced to one of the above categories?

3) What do you think about this quote: “World peace will never be stable until enough of us find inner peace to stabilize it.”

4) What sorts of things do you do or say everyday that show you are at war with yourselves or others?

Worship: Peace Pilgrim wrote, “There is a criterion by which you can judge whether the thoughts you are thinking and the things you are doing are right for you. The criterion is: Have they brought you inner peace? If they have not, there is something wrong with them -- so keep seeking! If what you do has brought you inner peace, stay with what you believe is right."

What brings you inner peace?


Friday, December 15, 2006

Fundraising


It's that time of year. We've got to make money, and quick.
When you have to earn in excess of $25,000, which we do for our service trip this year, bake sales and car washes just don't cut it. 
We've gotten good at raising (a lot) of money over the years. We've done spaghetti suppers and pancake breakfasts; published a church recipe book; offered Friday night Kids Nights Out (babysitting at church) and photos with Santa; hosted rock and folk concerts, a dance-a-thon and a contra dance; done Christmas Tree sales and dump runs; provided yard work, snow shoveling, computer and tv/stereo component set-ups; sold carol-grams and Gingerbread House Kits for Humanity; and delivered pies at Thanksgiving and subs on Super Bowl Sunday.
Basically, if you name it, we've done it. We even admit to selling the donated Sunday Social Hour food once when we were really hard up (which gave us the idea to sell lunch after church on Sundays!).  This year we're selling everything from stock in our trip to jewelry made out of hardware, electrical, and building supplies.  
Since the reality show The Apprentice aired, we've also divided our youth group into smaller teams of 5-10, had them create team names and posters, and compete to see which team could come up with the best fundraiser and earn the most money.  
It's a lot of work, and as several parents each year will always point out to me, it would probably be easier to just ask each youth to pay for the total cost of his/her trip, or to contribute some amount of money for our youth program expenses.  
But fundraising not only builds our bank account. It builds responsibility, gratitude, pride, and a great team.  By the time we arrive in the Gulf Coast this February, we will already know how to work together, and we won't waste any of the precious time we have because we'll know - probably down to the last cent! - how much every minute actually counts.

Tuesday, November 28, 2006

Diversity in Youth Group

We have a pretty diverse youth group ourselves; at least it 
appears that way from the outside. 
When we ask our youth about the diversity in their own group, 
they are much more likely to talk about the social groups 
that the various members of our youth group belong to -
band geeks, preps, jocks, druggies, alternative folks -
it's a veritable microcosm of the cultural diversity in the world.
One of my favorite "games" to open up a discussion about this 
diversity is Barnga. For some reason, this year I forgot how
to play and ended up having to search everywhere for the rules.
I finally found them here, along with a bunch of other really cool,
similar "games" that our youth love (Bafa Bafa, Prisoner's
Dilemma, and Brief Encounters being all-time winners).
If you try any others, let me know!

Monday, November 20, 2006

Reflections on New Orleans video by WUSYG

Thanks for all your interest in this video!
We decided to put it online because we can't afford postage
to mail it out to folks anymore. 
Please feel free to forward the URL to anyone you think might 
be interested; all we ask is that you leave us a note on our 
guestbook
 if you use it or find it useful. 
Of course, we'll also take donations as we will be continuing 
our work this year in Mississippi with Persevere Relief, 
an organization started by one of our youth group alums.
Get the video here

Monday, November 13, 2006

Love Your Neighbors



We love our neighboring UU youth groups!
Seems like there are a bunch of us who just don't find the time, or the ability, or the adult resources (or the desire?) to attend Cons in our area, but still really want to get to know the other UU youth nearby.
We're one of those groups, but our youth are finding new, cool ways to get to know each other and do things together, nonetheless!
Yesterday we had a great time out in Worcester, MA with the UU youth group there, led by Dave Blodgett. We got some of our musicians and singers together and played and sang at their Sunday morning service. It was a great way to get to know each other and have fun, and do something worthwhile all at the same time. Thanks for having us, Worcester!
In the past, Arlington, MA's UU youth group has joined us for a screening of An Inconvenient Truth; Belmont UU has invited us to their Halloween Party; and we've had a great time with some sunday afternoon Scavenger Hunts with other local UU youth.
We've enjoyed the time we've spent with other youth groups (twelve in all!) talking about our Gulf Coast work, too, and we're really happy that other groups have been able to make the trip down to lend a hand with some help from us (at least, we like to think we helped!).
We're always looking for new ways to connect to other youth groups outside of the Cons - stuff that appeals to a lot of different youth and doesn't take up more time of the youth advisors; and we've met so many other youth who have also been looking for this connection, that we started a list of things we hope to do in the near future with our neighbors.
Maybe you'll find some ideas here, yourself!

All day UU youth Olympics
Caroling
Dance group - folk, swing, contra, etc
Friday night rock concert, featuring bands with UU youth
Open Mike Night for UU youth
All day service project in the area
Monthly sponsorship of a local animal shelter dog
Local UU youth Adopt-a-highway
Art exhibit featuring art/photography of local UU youth
Podcasts to find out what other youth groups are doing
Videotaped round-table discussion on an issue, to be broadcast on local cable access channels
???

Friday, November 10, 2006

Help Clean up the French Quarter

"I don’t know what you have or haven’t heard about the French Quarter. I assume the news outside the New Orleans 'Bubble' portrays us as a city that is a-okay. Um, not so. New Orleans is bankrupt and operating on a $150M credit line from JP Morgan Chase. We are losing $1.5M per day in loss tourism dollars.

The FQ doesn’t have enough city workers, because there is no budget. Or at least that is the rumor. Cleaning the FQ is essential to the recovery of the area. If the city is clean, then people will come. I live in the FQ and I am sure you don’t want to hear my stories!

There are groups cleaning up the FQ. It gives you the opportunity to really check out the FQ, socialize with business owners and report back to your friends and family that yes, the FQ is still historic and beautiful and yes, operational…"

Check out this info about how to help clean up the French Quarter with a really great organization called Relief Spark. Take a group (14 year olds okay!) or take your family to the French Quarter and do some clean-up work! (With housing provided at the Royal Sonesta hotel, how can you not lend a hand?)

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Processing, Sharing, Reflecting

This question comes up a lot as groups are headed off to do service projects: how do we help them process things at the end of a long and sometimes difficult day?
Here are four examples of exercises I've used that seemed to work pretty well and could be used in many situations, not just during service projects.
DRAWING:
Have small groups or pairs draw a map of their experience during the day, then share with the whole group. Maps may be literal or symbolic depending on the day! They can get pretty creative: bridges, road signs, forks in the road, the road less traveled - they'll think of things you never would!
MOVING:
Divide youth into small groups. Ask each group to take 15 minutes to prepare a "snapshot" that tells a story about their day, using nothing but themselves. One group at a time, have them stand in the center of the circle and hold their snapshot for 30 seconds or so. Ask others in the group to interpret it, then let the group posing talk about their snapshot.
WRITING:
Have youth write letters to themselves. You can have them talk about something in particular, or have them write about what they are feeling at that moment, what they want to remember a month from now, etc. Give them envelopes to stuff and seal; have them address them to themselves. Collect them up and mail them to them in a month or so. Very cool - they love this.
TALKING:
Open-ended sentences are great. Go around the circle and have everyone finish them.
The hardest thing for me today was... The high point of my day was... I wish I had... I wanted to quit when... I got annoyed when... My motivation went up when... I was helped by... I was impressed by...I just need to complain for a minute about...I want to let everyone in the group know that... the last thing I want to say is...

Monday, November 06, 2006

Youth Services AND Rocking the Vote!

Okay, a two-fer:
We always want to go to other churches' youth services, and we never get to. Probably because most of us do them on the same day, or at least in the same (busy) month. So we put ours on line in the hopes others will do the same! It's here and the Order of Service is here.
The theme was "Do I Dare Disturb the Universe" so we watched it this weekend for some incentive to do a little work to get the vote out! Enjoy.

Monday, October 30, 2006

Teambuilding

I love building a great team but I hate things like ropes courses, trust activities, and the like. If we do any kind of game that has no purpose except to get people to think and work together, I like to do stuff that doesn't take a ton of prep time or require a big long explanation of how to play. I have a few favorites; this is one of them, and the youth love it too.
On index cards, make the following (one letter per card):
5 each: A E I O U
3 each: S T L M D G H N R Y
2 each: P B C F J K
1 each: Q V X Z
With masking tape, mask off a circle in the center of the room,about 2-3 feet in diameter.
On either side of the room, mask off a line.
Divide your group into 2 teams and have them stand behind their lines. Place all the index cards face down in the center circle.
Explain the rules: one person at a time from each team will run to the center, pick up an index card, bring it back to their team, and place it on their line. The next team member will then go to retrieve one index card and bring it back to their line. The first team to create a 5-letter word wins. You can add a lot of variables if it's too easy: no talking, teams may take letters from the other team's line as well as the middle circle, words must be 8 letters long, etc. If you let teams strategize between rounds of play they will get pretty good pretty quickly!