What makes youth group special? We asked the ones who know
best: our youth!
Here is the third article in the series of 3:
EMPOWERMENT by Catherine
Our youth group, even though it’s as large as it is, has found that it can accomplish many things, run smoothly, have a great time, AND empower individuals – with two adult leaders (not advisors!) and without a steering committee, president, treasurer, and the likes.
A big part of what we all get from this group is the skills we need to be leaders, in our group, in our church, and in the world. Part of what our leaders – Jessica and Sean – do, is to give everyone the skills, support, and opportunities to be a leader, and anyone can be a leader in any activity where they’re comfortable. In WUSYG there are opportunities to lead meetings, worship, overnights, dinners, concerts, and basically anything we can think of, and if we don’t think of anything, our leaders encourage us to try our hand at leading something at one time or another, either individually, or in small groups. By having skilled leaders rather than youth or advisors running a lot of our meetings and activities throughout the year, we learn a lot just by watching them and participating in the things they plan. From that, we learn how to organize our own things with their support: we learn how to lead discussions, how to plan service trips, how to construct a worship service, and a bunch of other things that we just wouldn’t necessarily know how to do, or have the skills to do.
As part of our youth group we are given opportunities to achieve things we never would have thought we could. The largest example of this occurs on our Habitat trips. On these week-long trips, we are given the opportunity and skills to achieve something very tangible. Framing a wall for a house for the homeless family whose daughter is working beside you is amazing; for some of us, finally getting a nail in without bending it is the most empowering thing we’ve experienced in years!
There are a dozen more ways that the youth are empowered within and by our group and its activities, but it is important to mention that youth involvement in the church and congregation are also significant. Our congregation accepts us as part of the larger community; it is part of their commitment to our Youth Group. With this acceptance, the youth are given the opportunity to serve on committees and have a voice. We have youth on nearly every committee in our church; youth are teachers, and sextons, and a lot of other things as well. By allowing for this involvement, the church has given us opportunities to become active and accept more responsibilities, and we learn how to be responsible with our power, and how to work with others.
The kinds of things we’re empowered to do in our youth group and in our church is not something we get at school, or through sports teams, or really anywhere else in our lives. In our church we are given the chance to learn about people different from us, the chance to make a difference, the chance to learn about ourselves, to learn from others who are older and wiser or more experienced, the chance to use our power wisely, and the chance to become someone who will build off all these experiences we’re given, and use them not just in our youth group, but in our community and the larger world.
Monday, February 26, 2007
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Youth, on Youth Group, part II
What makes youth group special? We asked the ones who know best: our youth!
Here is the second article, in a series of three:
CONTENT by Sam
WUSYG (the Winchester Unitarian Society Youth Group), like many other youth groups probably, creates a covenant at the beginning of the year. Contained in our covenant is our understanding that a group cannot function without dedication. We believe that trained and experienced leaders who model and build that dedication among us are absolutely crucial to creating a strong and committed youth following.
WUSYG has both a ¾ time youth director and a 1/4 time assistant youth director who are a part of the church’s payroll. For us, a youth group without experienced leaders is like a choir without a music director, or a congregation without a minister, and just like hiring a music director or searching for a minister, hiring the right leaders for a youth group is an extensive process that must be completed carefully and with input from the youth; youth group leaders need to understand the workings of a group and group development and dynamics, and must also be passionate about working with youth and knowledgeable about ministry to teens.
WUSYG’s leaders – Jessica and Sean – are not there to reprimand or control the group, but rather to guide and aid the group’s growth and provide knowledge, skills, and focus for the youth. We think that often, group leaders spend too much time focusing on just providing fun stuff to draw youth in, and not focusing on the culture or the dynamics of the group. Or, at the opposite side of the spectrum, they run youth group like an extension of RE classes and just try to teach us stuff that we may or may not be interested in. Other youth groups may just be left to fend for themselves, and develop their own programming and lead their own meetings and worship and activities with some help from adults. Because we have experienced leaders who share a full time job, we have a large program that offers us a little of all of that: social events, small groups, worship, education, service trips, community-building activities, and leadership opportunities. And, in turn, we have a very large and diverse group of youth. Whatever it is they’re looking for in a youth group, they can probably find it at WUSYG because we offer a little of everything.
As a youth director, Jessica spends a lot of time working on ways to develop leadership opportunities for youth. She does not rely on the same people to head each project, but rather encourages many people to lead activities, worship, fundraisers, etc. When a youth member leads a project for the group, he or she develops a strong dedication and loyalty to the group that can only grow, and gains skills that he or she will later pass along to new members. At the same time, Jessica doesn’t let us lead everything, and we don’t spend the majority of our time working on projects or planning things.
For example, weekly Sunday meetings for WUSYG are almost always leader-led and focused on a certain thought or theme which forces us to analyze current events and think about relevant issues. Our leaders create an environment where youth are free to express opinions and respectfully debate ideas with one another.
So, we don’t plan or lead our Sunday meetings… so what do we do, and how and when do we do it? Youth in the group organize and plan quite a bit on our own, and the largest influence on our organization for WUSYG is an e-mail list. This has been key for organizing events and letting everyone know what’s going on and what we need help with.
Of course, we can’t accomplish everything we need to do on computers. When we need to meet and organize, we’ll often use Wednesdays for that. If it’s a smaller group that needs to meet, they’ll all communicate and figure out when is best for all of them.
For us, leadership comes in as many different forms as we have different kinds of people in our group. While some people organize large-scale fundraising concerts, others participate in discussions and provide thought-provoking ideas. Some group members lead silently through their complete dedication to the group, and attend almost every single group event. Others lead by taking charge when no one else will. Our adult leaders do lead, and not just advise, but our youth all lead and advise as well, and it’s the balance that makes it possible for our group to do as much as we do, and what makes our group work so well.
Here is the second article, in a series of three:
CONTENT by Sam
WUSYG (the Winchester Unitarian Society Youth Group), like many other youth groups probably, creates a covenant at the beginning of the year. Contained in our covenant is our understanding that a group cannot function without dedication. We believe that trained and experienced leaders who model and build that dedication among us are absolutely crucial to creating a strong and committed youth following.
WUSYG has both a ¾ time youth director and a 1/4 time assistant youth director who are a part of the church’s payroll. For us, a youth group without experienced leaders is like a choir without a music director, or a congregation without a minister, and just like hiring a music director or searching for a minister, hiring the right leaders for a youth group is an extensive process that must be completed carefully and with input from the youth; youth group leaders need to understand the workings of a group and group development and dynamics, and must also be passionate about working with youth and knowledgeable about ministry to teens.
WUSYG’s leaders – Jessica and Sean – are not there to reprimand or control the group, but rather to guide and aid the group’s growth and provide knowledge, skills, and focus for the youth. We think that often, group leaders spend too much time focusing on just providing fun stuff to draw youth in, and not focusing on the culture or the dynamics of the group. Or, at the opposite side of the spectrum, they run youth group like an extension of RE classes and just try to teach us stuff that we may or may not be interested in. Other youth groups may just be left to fend for themselves, and develop their own programming and lead their own meetings and worship and activities with some help from adults. Because we have experienced leaders who share a full time job, we have a large program that offers us a little of all of that: social events, small groups, worship, education, service trips, community-building activities, and leadership opportunities. And, in turn, we have a very large and diverse group of youth. Whatever it is they’re looking for in a youth group, they can probably find it at WUSYG because we offer a little of everything.
As a youth director, Jessica spends a lot of time working on ways to develop leadership opportunities for youth. She does not rely on the same people to head each project, but rather encourages many people to lead activities, worship, fundraisers, etc. When a youth member leads a project for the group, he or she develops a strong dedication and loyalty to the group that can only grow, and gains skills that he or she will later pass along to new members. At the same time, Jessica doesn’t let us lead everything, and we don’t spend the majority of our time working on projects or planning things.
For example, weekly Sunday meetings for WUSYG are almost always leader-led and focused on a certain thought or theme which forces us to analyze current events and think about relevant issues. Our leaders create an environment where youth are free to express opinions and respectfully debate ideas with one another.
So, we don’t plan or lead our Sunday meetings… so what do we do, and how and when do we do it? Youth in the group organize and plan quite a bit on our own, and the largest influence on our organization for WUSYG is an e-mail list. This has been key for organizing events and letting everyone know what’s going on and what we need help with.
Of course, we can’t accomplish everything we need to do on computers. When we need to meet and organize, we’ll often use Wednesdays for that. If it’s a smaller group that needs to meet, they’ll all communicate and figure out when is best for all of them.
For us, leadership comes in as many different forms as we have different kinds of people in our group. While some people organize large-scale fundraising concerts, others participate in discussions and provide thought-provoking ideas. Some group members lead silently through their complete dedication to the group, and attend almost every single group event. Others lead by taking charge when no one else will. Our adult leaders do lead, and not just advise, but our youth all lead and advise as well, and it’s the balance that makes it possible for our group to do as much as we do, and what makes our group work so well.
Friday, February 16, 2007
Youth, on Youth Group
Straight from the horse's mouth! We asked our youth to write about what makes their youth group
special.
Here's the first, in a series of 3 articles I'll post here over the next few days.
OUR CULTURE, by Anna
We know that in all UU youth groups and district events there are certain things that are expected of the youth who attend: things like don’t use drugs, don’t have sex or exclusive relationships, no drinking, and so on. We also know that even when these things are aspired to, or even if youth sign on the line and agree to them, it doesn’t always mean that there won’t be drinking, or sex, or whatever, happening.
Our group is a little different: we aspire to and agree to not using substances or having exclusive relationships in our group, and we don’t. Honestly, we do not have ANY problems with drugs, alcohol, sex, exclusive relationships, or other substance abuse at our events, meetings, retreats, or service trips.
And it’s not because we’re a bunch of goody-goodies either—in fact, the town we come from has a very disturbing reputation for being a very heavy drinking/drugging town; and obviously, we’re not immune to that. The truth is that most of us don’t make it through our high school years without some experimenting—with some doing a lot more “experimenting’ than others. And it’s not like kids in our group don’t have intense relationships or go out with others in the group—in fact, some of our youth have been dating for several years -- but you would NEVER know it when you’re at a youth group meeting or event.
Our youth group is sacred space—we’ve worked hard to make it a place that’s free from the stuff that’s around us all the rest of the time, and we talk about the reasons we want our group and our activities to be free from those things that are so pervasive in the rest of our lives. We agree not to have exclusive relationships, use drugs, alcohol, etc—and we don’t.
It’s not always easy and it takes work, and let’s face it: drugs, alcohol, sex, and other substance abuse are a huge part of teen life whether people like it or not. But although this may be part of some of our youth’s lives, it is never part of their life at the youth group. It doesn’t even need to be said. It all goes back to respect. By bringing substances into the group, you not only run the risk of being caught and reprimanded by the leaders, but even worse, you run the risk of disappointing the group. The way we see it, by bringing substances into our group, its almost as if you’re saying, “you people aren’t enough to have fun—I need more!” or “I don’t feel comfortable with you or myself, so instead of working on that, I’m going to take the easy way out.”
And by the way: we have never been asked to sign anything stating that we will behave a certain way in our group or at our events or retreats or trips. The first time I was ever asked to sign anything like that for a youth group event was this past April, when I went on a UUSC work trip to the Mohawk Farm in New York. We were all required to sign this contract. It’s your typical contract, sign on the dotted line. Honestly, I didn’t even read it—I just signed it. I’m sure I know what it said: no sex, no drugs, blah blah blah. It’s not that it’s not important—it’s just that we all know already that adults expect of us. What’s more important really is what we expect of each other and why, and signing on a dotted line doesn’t give anyone any opportunity to talk about their own personal beliefs, or the reasons why the rules and guidelines for the trip are there, or anything that is really important, like respect for each other, our leaders, not wasting the opportunity that is being given to us, or violating the trust we have in each other. When you talk about those things, and hear how others feel about them, it becomes really obvious that that kind of stuff is so much more important and rare and valuable than a few beers would be.
When our youth group goes on a service trip, for example, we aren’t asked to sign on a dotted line. Instead, we are asked to write our own covenant, which includes what we feel should be the guidelines for the trip, why, and what really matters. In general, these covenants are a way for each member to say whatever is on his or her mind, to talk about what s/he wants from the trip, ad how s/he thinks that can happen. Everyone is required to write one because, although most of us want similar things, we are all really different, and we have different needs and ideas as well. We read them aloud, but anonymously, every night throughout the trip, and it really makes us feel proud to be doing something (or not doing something) that no one expects of us anywhere else in our life. It’s a big deal, and it’s something we’ve chosen to do on our own, and it’s something that a lot of people really respect us for. Sex, drugs, and alcohol is a whole lot easier to come by than the kind of pride and respect we get from this…And it’s interesting, because it’s not just adults that respect us for this; kids in our school really want to be part of something like this too, and that’s one reason why our group has grown so much I think.
special.
Here's the first, in a series of 3 articles I'll post here over the next few days.
OUR CULTURE, by Anna
We know that in all UU youth groups and district events there are certain things that are expected of the youth who attend: things like don’t use drugs, don’t have sex or exclusive relationships, no drinking, and so on. We also know that even when these things are aspired to, or even if youth sign on the line and agree to them, it doesn’t always mean that there won’t be drinking, or sex, or whatever, happening.
Our group is a little different: we aspire to and agree to not using substances or having exclusive relationships in our group, and we don’t. Honestly, we do not have ANY problems with drugs, alcohol, sex, exclusive relationships, or other substance abuse at our events, meetings, retreats, or service trips.
And it’s not because we’re a bunch of goody-goodies either—in fact, the town we come from has a very disturbing reputation for being a very heavy drinking/drugging town; and obviously, we’re not immune to that. The truth is that most of us don’t make it through our high school years without some experimenting—with some doing a lot more “experimenting’ than others. And it’s not like kids in our group don’t have intense relationships or go out with others in the group—in fact, some of our youth have been dating for several years -- but you would NEVER know it when you’re at a youth group meeting or event.
Our youth group is sacred space—we’ve worked hard to make it a place that’s free from the stuff that’s around us all the rest of the time, and we talk about the reasons we want our group and our activities to be free from those things that are so pervasive in the rest of our lives. We agree not to have exclusive relationships, use drugs, alcohol, etc—and we don’t.
It’s not always easy and it takes work, and let’s face it: drugs, alcohol, sex, and other substance abuse are a huge part of teen life whether people like it or not. But although this may be part of some of our youth’s lives, it is never part of their life at the youth group. It doesn’t even need to be said. It all goes back to respect. By bringing substances into the group, you not only run the risk of being caught and reprimanded by the leaders, but even worse, you run the risk of disappointing the group. The way we see it, by bringing substances into our group, its almost as if you’re saying, “you people aren’t enough to have fun—I need more!” or “I don’t feel comfortable with you or myself, so instead of working on that, I’m going to take the easy way out.”
And by the way: we have never been asked to sign anything stating that we will behave a certain way in our group or at our events or retreats or trips. The first time I was ever asked to sign anything like that for a youth group event was this past April, when I went on a UUSC work trip to the Mohawk Farm in New York. We were all required to sign this contract. It’s your typical contract, sign on the dotted line. Honestly, I didn’t even read it—I just signed it. I’m sure I know what it said: no sex, no drugs, blah blah blah. It’s not that it’s not important—it’s just that we all know already that adults expect of us. What’s more important really is what we expect of each other and why, and signing on a dotted line doesn’t give anyone any opportunity to talk about their own personal beliefs, or the reasons why the rules and guidelines for the trip are there, or anything that is really important, like respect for each other, our leaders, not wasting the opportunity that is being given to us, or violating the trust we have in each other. When you talk about those things, and hear how others feel about them, it becomes really obvious that that kind of stuff is so much more important and rare and valuable than a few beers would be.
When our youth group goes on a service trip, for example, we aren’t asked to sign on a dotted line. Instead, we are asked to write our own covenant, which includes what we feel should be the guidelines for the trip, why, and what really matters. In general, these covenants are a way for each member to say whatever is on his or her mind, to talk about what s/he wants from the trip, ad how s/he thinks that can happen. Everyone is required to write one because, although most of us want similar things, we are all really different, and we have different needs and ideas as well. We read them aloud, but anonymously, every night throughout the trip, and it really makes us feel proud to be doing something (or not doing something) that no one expects of us anywhere else in our life. It’s a big deal, and it’s something we’ve chosen to do on our own, and it’s something that a lot of people really respect us for. Sex, drugs, and alcohol is a whole lot easier to come by than the kind of pride and respect we get from this…And it’s interesting, because it’s not just adults that respect us for this; kids in our school really want to be part of something like this too, and that’s one reason why our group has grown so much I think.
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Online Discussion Guides
If you haven't read YES! magazine, you should start! We love it.
Added bonus: their discussion guides are absolutely perfect for
senior high youth groups. Take a look at them here. You're
guaranteed to find a whole slew of great themes, engaging articles,
and ready-made questions for your group.
Added bonus: their discussion guides are absolutely perfect for
senior high youth groups. Take a look at them here. You're
guaranteed to find a whole slew of great themes, engaging articles,
and ready-made questions for your group.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Discussion with Large Groups
We have the happy problem of having too many kids. It makes
discussions virtually impossible, but other than Wink and Capture
the Flag, it's what the majority of youth in our group want on a
Sunday evening.
Here's one technique that would work well with any number of kids though, and it's a nice change from the circle or fishbowl. Have each youth write down a controversial situation. This could be
anything from the Iraq war, to having a friend who makes racist or
homophobic comments, to being in a situation where alcohol or drugs
are being used.
Put a long piece of masking down across the floor of your room, and label one end AGREE/APPROVE and the other DISAGREE/DISAPPROVE.
Have youth exchange papers with one another, and ask for 2 volunteers.
Have the first volunteer read what is on his paper. Ask the second
volunteer to take a stand on the tape line which represents how she feels about the situation. She should explain why she chose the position on the line which she did.
At that point, the rest of the group is invited to give arguments (pro/con) or make comments about the situation in an attempt to change the mind of the person standing on the tape line, who will move and respond to comments from the individuals in the group if she feels so inclined.
Continue until it's boring, then choose two more volunteers.
This isn't only an interesting way to create a vibrant discussion, it's also a good chance for youth to see peer pressure at work, to find out what "moves them", to see the influence they have on others, and so on.
discussions virtually impossible, but other than Wink and Capture
the Flag, it's what the majority of youth in our group want on a
Sunday evening.
Here's one technique that would work well with any number of kids though, and it's a nice change from the circle or fishbowl. Have each youth write down a controversial situation. This could be
anything from the Iraq war, to having a friend who makes racist or
homophobic comments, to being in a situation where alcohol or drugs
are being used.
Put a long piece of masking down across the floor of your room, and label one end AGREE/APPROVE and the other DISAGREE/DISAPPROVE.
Have youth exchange papers with one another, and ask for 2 volunteers.
Have the first volunteer read what is on his paper. Ask the second
volunteer to take a stand on the tape line which represents how she feels about the situation. She should explain why she chose the position on the line which she did.
At that point, the rest of the group is invited to give arguments (pro/con) or make comments about the situation in an attempt to change the mind of the person standing on the tape line, who will move and respond to comments from the individuals in the group if she feels so inclined.
Continue until it's boring, then choose two more volunteers.
This isn't only an interesting way to create a vibrant discussion, it's also a good chance for youth to see peer pressure at work, to find out what "moves them", to see the influence they have on others, and so on.
Monday, January 22, 2007
Another great site for resources
Here it is, more different ideas that are easy to lead. Search for ideas by exercise or outcome. Everything I've used from here has been great!
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Searchable database of activities, exercises, and games
Searchable by keyword, type of tool (icebreaker, simulation exercise, etc.), or topic, this website has a bunch of great and different activities for your meetings! Enjoy.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
Everything Old is New Again
Some of the exercises I love the most only work one time with any
one group. Once you do them, the secret is out, and you can't use
them again for, oh, four years or so, until the new generation comes through the doors and all your old stuff is new again.
Over the years, I've discovered many ways to reuse and recycle
great games and meetings, making them more challenging and
different and thus useful at least every two years, if not every year. One favorite of mine and our group is the Broken Squares Exercise.
Play it once with your group - it's a great one - but if you want to
play it again, try this small change: eliminate one person per group, and eliminate one square. The trick? tell the group they still have to create 5 squares. The answer: they will need to build 4 individual squares which together create one larger, 5th square.
For the youth who think they know this game, it becomes extra tricky as they are forced to think outside the box (square!). Some will insist you did it wrong; others will figure it out eventually. Change your follow-up questions to suit your particular group situation, or have them create their own questions based on their
experiences.
one group. Once you do them, the secret is out, and you can't use
them again for, oh, four years or so, until the new generation comes through the doors and all your old stuff is new again.
Over the years, I've discovered many ways to reuse and recycle
great games and meetings, making them more challenging and
different and thus useful at least every two years, if not every year. One favorite of mine and our group is the Broken Squares Exercise.
Play it once with your group - it's a great one - but if you want to
play it again, try this small change: eliminate one person per group, and eliminate one square. The trick? tell the group they still have to create 5 squares. The answer: they will need to build 4 individual squares which together create one larger, 5th square.
For the youth who think they know this game, it becomes extra tricky as they are forced to think outside the box (square!). Some will insist you did it wrong; others will figure it out eventually. Change your follow-up questions to suit your particular group situation, or have them create their own questions based on their
experiences.
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